Off the bat, one of my favorite and controversial sources was Pinche Taco. He was missing in action for quite a bit and many of you have asked me what happened to him. Taco is like a popular character who either died or went away for a while in a comic book storyline. If you know your comics, popular characters don’t ever die or go away. Sometimes they even evolve. Pinche Taco not only returns to the Latino Review fold, but he has evolved as well!
Enjoy the FIVE scoops he got for us! FIVE! Talk about evolution!
There was a great fanzine once called AFTA. The title stood for Ascension From The Ashes. It only came out three times. The guy who wrote it loved movies and comics. He died several years ago in a fire- his boxes of movies and comics made it impossible for him to escape the fire. La Vida is like that amigos.
I was once the Taco. El Pinche Taco. A Taco from the bowels of Hades. A Pubic Taco. And I provided you with news you could use and not find anywhere else. I fought the evil of Mark Millar and the terror of Harry Knowles.
Today I rise from the ashes of the Taco. I become SENOR FENIX and I present mi primer combo plate of scoops you can use. Know the following- Senor Fenix speaks only the truth. La Verdad. Senor Fenix loves you all. Senor Fenix es un gran amigo de las peliculas.
1. Beans- “Good and Hearty”- After Mark Romanek directed the brilliant pilot LOCKE AND KEY for Fox TV one would have thought it would get picked up but NO, the project was dropped in favor of AMERICAN HORROR STORY. But fear not, the geniuses at Universal who have spent over $200m on the new Keanu Reeves film 47 RONIN and then pushed it until the end of 2013 (and still counting) have decided to pick it up as a feature- a trilogy as a matter of fact. The comics are published by IDW who were responsible for the stunning failure of 30 DAYS OF NIGHT and now that LOCKE AND KEY failed as a TV show they are going to allow Universal to do it as a movie. If it works it will be the second haunted house film that Universal does next year, having agreed to finance Guillermo del Toro’s original script CRIMSON PEAK (he is only producing) which does for Haunted Houses what Wonder did for bread. The original comics are wonderful, written by Stephen King Junior, aka Joe Hill. The movie will be produced and written by Kurtzman and Orci the team behind this year’s monster hit PEOPLE LIKE US. Sounds like some tasty beans to us. Que Bueno!
2. Rice- “Starchy and Tasty”- Speaking of Guillermo del Toro let’s just say he is working on a movie that has the potential to be the greatest movie ever committed to film. Or bytes. I hear that his next epic, PACIFIC RIM ( a Japanese Porno) is testing so well that Warner Brothers wants to offer him everything they have. Fortunately he passed on the feature version of V and the sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but he does want to do his own version of the Avengers, just supernaturally. Called HEAVEN SENT he is combining all the magical beings from DC Comics in one epic adventure. Deadman, The Spectre, Swamp Thing, Constantine Hellblazer, Phantom Stranger, Zatanna, Zatara, and Sargon as well as Etrigan the Demon will team up to no doubt save us from the Stay Puft Marshmallow man. Now this one is a ways away, but Warner’s lawyers have been working every night trying to clear the rights to all these characters. I am excited. Imagine a giant inflatable Spectre floating over San Diego ComiCon like we had with the SKY CAPTAIN Robot? Or endless screenings of the film like with SCOTT PILGRIM? Or maybe a building converted into a giant ad like with COWBOYS AND ALIENS? HEAVEN SENT is certain to RULE ComicCon in 2020! Que Bueno!
3. Quesadilla- “Cheesy and bad for you”- Speaking of LOCKE AND KEY, there are these two managers, David Alpert and David Engel and these guys basically OWN comic book creators who have Hollywood Dreams. They also make themselves producers when they sell the projects because the studios and networks love these guys and want to have their children. So they are involved in LOCKE AND KEY because that’s a good thing. Another good thing is that because they personally all by themselves made THE WALKING DEAD a basic cable hit, they are poised to do it again with a comic book property that they manage called REVIVAL. Written by the brilliant Tim Seeley whose Hack and Slash is going to be the cornerstone of a new ROGUE PICTURES any day now I am certain, REVIVAL is a zombie comic but set in the rural heartland of America. And these Zombies aren’t Zombies you see they are just dead people who don’t like being dead. Anyway Alpert/Engel have sold this as a development deal to NBC Studios with the hope that this will get on NBC. Just so you know, NBC had THE WALKING DEAD in development for 3 years. THREE YEARS. And then decided not to make it. So doing a Zombie show that isn’t a Zombie show with The Walking Dead guys is sure to be a smash hit for them this time. Que Bueno!
4. Guacamole- “Spicy and Pungent”- And since all of Hollywood seems to be revolving around David Alpert this week, he also gets some unfortunate news as well. Apparently FX filmed their SECOND pilot of Brian Michael Bendis’ POWERS comics and well apparently this one doesn’t work either. I don’t know if they are going to do a third one or just let it go, but it kind of sucks because that was a show I really wanted to see. On the other hand, it takes place in a world filled with super powered heroes so I was never clear how they could portray that on the budget of a TV show. Bendis is one of the single best writers in the Comic Book Business and he has been with these managers for over 15 years, which is why they manage to sign so many other creators. During that time Bendis has gotten dozens of hit TV shows on the air as well as 4 of the top 20 films of all time. I am sure this set back won’t be too much of a problem for them. Que Bueno!
5. Flan- “ Sweet and Rewarding”- There’s always a good story to tell. Hollywood is not only a place of greed, evil and bad things. Okay it is but sometimes the good guys win. Maestro JJ Abrams, Mister Star Trek and Lost has bought the rights to BEASTLIES. These incredible cute monstrous figures are hand made one at a time by artist Leslie Levings. Their eyes are far apart and they have big ears or horns but gosh darn it they are sweet looking creatures. Apparently Abrams, who has conquered all live action worlds, intends to turn Beastlies into the modern day equivalent of the Smurfs! An animated series and film are both on the agenda. Considering how unwatchable the Smurfs movie was and how wonderful the Beastlies are we hope that Abrams and Levings create something fun cool and original, with nary a Gargamel in sight. Que Bueno!
Dios Mio what a tasty Combo! Es Todo ninos y ninas, hasta next time, Yo Soy Senor Fenix! Arriba!
Source: Señor Fenix